Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Av's Player Enters Rehab:
Addicted to Guitar Hero II

DENVER - Colorado Avalanche defenseman Karlis Skrastins has voluntarily entered rehab for what team officials are calling "a bizarre addiction to the video game Guitar Hero II".

Sources say that everyone has been aware of Skrastins' situation for some time, but that lately things started to "spiral out of control". "Look, we all love Karli," said an Avalanche center that wears number 19 who asked not to be indentified, "but when you're shorthanded and you have a guy 'rocking out' in the defensive zone... well, that's just not good for anybody."

Avalanche President Pierre Lacroix was hopeful for a full and quick recovery, but tried not to appear too optimistic. "It's got that Danzig tune, the one about his mother. And You Really Got Me, the Van Halen version, not the crappy Kinks version. And when is the last time you heard Cheap Trick? C'mon, Surrender is like one of the greatest songs ever. Look, we're all pulling for Skrastins, but seriously, he's jamming to Surrender." said Lacroix. "You know, people think we call him Iron Man because he's played in over 800 straight games. But really it's because the guy can get a perfect score playing Iron Man by Black Sabbath... at the expert level. The guy really does rock."

Calls to Skrastins' agent were not immediately returned.