Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Rebuilding? Reboring.

I knew it was gonna happen. I knew that the Kings were going give me one less reason to watch them. Sure, Kopitar is a stud. Yeah, Frolov stopped with the wrap-arounds and realized that it is possible to shoot from in front of the goal. And yes, Cammi with his big Virginia Ham head perched on top of his garden gnome body is actually scoring some goals. But watching these guys score goals when the Kings are down 4-1 just isn't that exciting. Losing is losing. Sucking is sucking. Kings hockey is Kings hockey. Add to that the suckiest suck of suckage that ever sucked goaltending, well, then you find yourself looking for the little things to entertain you. Little things like a Rob Blake hip check. What? Oh, he doesn't really do that anymore? He's too busy providing leadership? OK, well then there's Dustin Browns slamming body checks. What? Oh, he doesn't really do that much anymore? Well, OK, then there's at LEAST Sean Avery to entertain us. Like a drunk monkey with a loaded gun, he's at least fun to watch. And the worse the team plays, the drunker that monkey gets. "Look out! What's going to happen next? At least I'm being entertained while the worst team in THE ENTIRE NHL STINKS UP THE ICE." What? The Kings traded Sean Avery?

Yup, they sure did. Sean Avery is now a New York Ranger. Well, I guess the timing couldn't have been better. America Idol's new season just started, so maybe I start an American Idol blog. Because the other night, they had on this 300 pound woman with missing teeth who looked like her ankles were about to snap as she danced and couldn't remember the words to "I Will Always Love You" so she screeched out lyrics that she made up on the spot and she was so out of tune that even Paula couldn't say anything nice about her and it turned out she was like 50 years old anyway. Yes, she sucked. She sucked bad. As bad as the Kings. But do you know what? At least she was fun to watch.

Good luck Sean. And I....... ee I ee I.... will always love you........

~ Tickles