The Buchwald Report
So I had breakfast with former NY Rangers GM and current OLN/VS/THE RODEO NETWORK blabber-mouth Neil Smith. I wouldn't say we were friends - frankly I see him as the Forrest Gump of hockey - but he offered to buy me breakfast, and I lost my wallet at Scores whilst getting a lap-dance from one Ginger LaRue. But anyhow, it was free breakfast and a chance to yak about hockey and maybe get a few inside scoops.
But here is something that most people don't know about Neil Smith, and actually, I had completely forgotten; the man loves olives. He carries a small case with him everywhere that has small jars of every kind of olive imaginable. Whole. Sliced. Pitted. Stuffed. You name it, it's in his little case. So he orders a bowl of Irish Oatmeal and a stack of pancakes, and starts droning on and on about some inane crap about how the "Ted Nugent: How To Gut A Groundhog" special on OLN got better ratings than most NHL games on the network. I tuned him out completely and just watched his mouth move up and down non-stop while I mentally played the Aerosmith "Rocks" album in my head until the food came. So our food finally comes during "Get The Lead Out", and I jump right into my Mucho Bacon platter, when Neil pulls out his olive case. He drops about a dozen black olives into his oatmeal, and smothers his pancakes in sliced Greeks that have been pickled in some kind of Uzo brine. Now I'm getting ready to puke - first from the sight of this, then from the smell - and he's blabbering on and on about some Bass Fishing Tournament mini-series on OLN and how they don't count the weight of the lures during weigh ins. So I just grabbed all the bacon I could and stuffed it in my jacket pocket, where - surprise! - there I find my wallet. It turns out that Ginger didn't roll me after all when I passed out in the Pleasure Pen. Looks like I owe somebody an apology...
Flyers still looking to move Forsberg. He's arguing that he has a no-trade clause, while Philly is arguing that they have a we-don't-give-a-damn clause.
But here is something that most people don't know about Neil Smith, and actually, I had completely forgotten; the man loves olives. He carries a small case with him everywhere that has small jars of every kind of olive imaginable. Whole. Sliced. Pitted. Stuffed. You name it, it's in his little case. So he orders a bowl of Irish Oatmeal and a stack of pancakes, and starts droning on and on about some inane crap about how the "Ted Nugent: How To Gut A Groundhog" special on OLN got better ratings than most NHL games on the network. I tuned him out completely and just watched his mouth move up and down non-stop while I mentally played the Aerosmith "Rocks" album in my head until the food came. So our food finally comes during "Get The Lead Out", and I jump right into my Mucho Bacon platter, when Neil pulls out his olive case. He drops about a dozen black olives into his oatmeal, and smothers his pancakes in sliced Greeks that have been pickled in some kind of Uzo brine. Now I'm getting ready to puke - first from the sight of this, then from the smell - and he's blabbering on and on about some Bass Fishing Tournament mini-series on OLN and how they don't count the weight of the lures during weigh ins. So I just grabbed all the bacon I could and stuffed it in my jacket pocket, where - surprise! - there I find my wallet. It turns out that Ginger didn't roll me after all when I passed out in the Pleasure Pen. Looks like I owe somebody an apology...
Flyers still looking to move Forsberg. He's arguing that he has a no-trade clause, while Philly is arguing that they have a we-don't-give-a-damn clause.
- Buchwald Rating = M3
- Buchwald Rating = R8
- Buchwald Rating = F9
- Buchwald Rating = A7
- Buchwald Rating = R1
- Buchwald Rating = T4
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