Saturday, November 04, 2006


Los Angeles Kings vs Phoenix Coyotes

I was going to title this blog entry "Coyote Ugly", but the guy over at this other Kings blog beat me to it. And the last thing I want is for people to be saying that Tickles McGinty steals other people's stuff, so now I'm stuck having to come up for another cool title for another fabulous installment of my commentary of another crappy game by the same frumpy Kings. And once you have a title like "Coyote Ugly" in your head, it's really hard to think of something else. Something about the desert, maybe? Arizona?There's Arizona Ice Tea... nah. "Phoenix Rising" sounds kinda cool, but it doesn't really mean anything. Heat? Cactus? I'm getting nothing here. Zilch. Maybe I should just go ahead and use "Coyote Ugly". I mean, it's not like it's never been used before, right? Isn't there an actor named Peter Coyote? Let me check to see what movies he's been in. Maybe that'll inspire something... Holy crap. That guy's been in like 106 movies, and I don't think I recognized a single one of them. And he actually does kinda look like a coyote. Dude is old, too. No help there. Screw it. I'll come up with something before I'm done with. Let's just get this over with, shall we?

Period 1:
Yeay! Garon's in net, so we may have a chance in this game. Coyotes score first with a goal by Shane Doan, with an assist by none other than Mr. Cheesy himself, Jeremy Roenick. Roenick's assist tonight represents 25% of his entire offense so far this season. Padding your stats there, ay JR? 0 goals, 1 assist, 0 pims. My dad calls that a Charlie Huddy Hat-trick. That reference is a little before my time I think. Anyways, then I was fliiping around during a commercial and saw that HBO is like doing an Ali G marathon. I'll check it out during the intermission.
  • End of Period 1: Kings 3, Coyotes 3

Period 2:
OK, I don't know what happened, but apparently they took out Garon and put in Cloutier, now all of a sudden the Coyotes have 6 goals. AGGGGHHH!!! I think I'm going to scream! Why can't they just leave Garon in? On HBO was the ALI G episode where Ali G blames the religious guy for "dropping a floater" in the backstage bathroom, and the religious guy is all like "I don't know what you're talking about." And Ali G keeps blaming him for anyway. I soo have to take a pee every time after I see that one. Heather and I will probably go see the Borat movie this weekend.
  • End of Period 1: Kings 4, Coyotes 6

Period 3:

Snore. Snore. Snore. Snore. Zzzzz. Zzzzz. Zzzzz. Zzzzz. Zzzzz. It's reeeaaaaalllllyyyyy hard to watch crappy hockey, especially when you know the Ali G with Andy Rooney is about to play on HBO. But from the looks of it, nothing happened. So who's kidding who here.
  • FINAL SCORE: Kings 4, Coyotes 6